Monday Jun 30, 2008

Still Learning from Adele

A few observations about my mother’s passing:

1) Life is a treasure precisely because it is finite.

2) While there are many doctors, there are few healers.

3) The Law of Non-Attachment does not exclude losing loved ones. Losing one’s mother is the most intense of tests to confront.

4) Grief takes many forms.

5) Leaving nothing of importance unsaid is healing.

6) Like it or not, life is but dream—and that is the mystery worth exploring.


Max, I cannot imagine what you are feeling, or dealing with, or experiencing, but my heart goes out to all of you.  Adele’s passing touched me, too, far off though I am in more ways than one.

I am filled with the sense of the value of life, OUR current life, and the gift of those who die is to remind us of that irrevocably.

The REAL sorrow, as I told my mom, was and is of a life that is unfullfilled.  My life has not been fulfilled and, much as I have done and seen, has not.  You will disagree.  But this is my knowing.  I greatly wish to fullfill my life.  For a variety of reasons, it has not and this is my failure.  That is real sorrow.

Adele, it seems to me, was greatly fullfilled.  To see her great sons and her daughter is to know that.  And to see her with her Grandkids, at Garry’s and Donna’s 1.2 years ago, for me, was a gift of memory.

Thank you for linking me in.

It is not easy to be the Max or the David in our family, but WE are.

Posted by David K on 06/30 at 11:31 AM from Seattle.

This is a good list. I’m thinking there will be many more lists and lessons to come. Yes, you are right. Losing your mother is a powerful test. Grief comes in many forms. You are about to see and experience many of them.

Best of good on your healing journey.

Janet Riehl

Posted by Janet Riehl on 07/02 at 01:40 PM from St. Louis.

Janet and David—your thoughts for Adele (and me) are deeply appreciated.

Posted by Eden on 07/02 at 03:13 PM.

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